1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,937 [Instrumental Music] 2 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:06,740 Lori, I can't believe you talked us into ordering from some bougie-ass 3 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,442 Infinity and Beyond cafe. 4 00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:12,646 Oh come on, Tony. This place has a real buzz on the internet goin' from bein' the 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,049 newest healthy restaurant in town. 6 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:18,286 Yeah, they're supposed to be light years ahead of the competition. 7 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,822 There's nothin' wrong with eatin' healthy every now and then, Tony. 8 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:25,526 Ugh, smells like it was marinated in armadillo urine. 9 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,797 Uah, how do you even know what armadillo urine smells like? 10 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,100 I've been in the bathroom after you. 11 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,635 You know what? I'm a need you two to cut it out. 12 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,837 Let's just eat our dinner, please. 13 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,973 Well it's this sea slug's fault anyway for bringin' this food over here, man. 14 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,676 I don't know whether to put salt on it or salt on her. 15 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,345 Oh Tony, hurry up. 16 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,613 Throw the salt over your 17 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,115 - ...shoulder so you don't get bad luck. - The left one. 18 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:51,152 Knock it off with that bad luck mumbo jumbo. I won the lottery, remember? 19 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,688 Well it's a lucky thing you did cause if you hadn't, my baby sister 20 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,024 never woulda married your broke ass. 21 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,661 Now Tony you can't tell me you've never heard that spillin' salt on the table is 22 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,197 bad luck. I mean it's just like walkin' under a ladder. 23 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,965 Or, breakin' a mirror. 24 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,135 Now look, I walk under a ladder everyday at work. 25 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,603 And Lori breaks mirrors every time she looks at 'em. 26 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,672 How about I break your jaw? 27 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:15,008 Look I I just I don't believe in any of that superstitious mumbo jumbo. 28 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:19,513 Haven't you ever heard of the old adage, step on a crack, 29 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,549 break yo mama back? 30 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:25,519 I remember the day our uncle Junebug stepped on a crack. 31 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,688 And then grandma slipped down the church steps 32 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,491 - ...and she, she broke her 3rd vertebrae. - You remember that? 33 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,059 - Yeah. - [Tony] Man, y'all crazy. 34 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,829 Ooh man, I think I just bit a chicken toe. 35 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:36,830 [Theme Music] 36 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,799 * Woke up and my wife said to me * 37 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,135 * The bill collectors want their fees * 38 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,371 * The kids keep talkin' back to me * 39 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,872 * Family Time * 40 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,375 * Family Time. Family Time * 41 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:51,044 * Family Time. Waa aah woa oah oah oah yeah * 42 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,847 [Instrumental Music] 43 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:57,084 Lisa have you seen that budget proposal that I've been workin' on all weekend? 44 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,420 I gotta make sure it's perfect before I send it to these clients 45 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,888 but I can't seem to find it. 46 00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,391 Uh oh, Tony. You're gettin' old, huh baby? 47 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,593 What's next? You're gonna be forgettin' your birthday? 48 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,528 No, our anniversary. 49 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,097 Makin' fun of me don't seem so fun now does it? 50 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,166 I'm just sayin' you know, sometimes you're lookin' for 51 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,434 somethin' and it's been right under your 52 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,503 nose the whole time. 53 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,570 [Tony laughs] 54 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,372 - Thank you, baby. - Mm hm. 55 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,573 You're welcome. 56 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,776 I'm just so nervous about this deal with the city council 57 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,779 because if it goes through, I might be able to add 58 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,114 a room to this house. 59 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,749 Oh yeah, balance that budget, baby. 60 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,785 - Go ahead, get some business. - Yeah, I know that's right. 61 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,957 Better yet, I need to build a wall around this house. 62 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,093 Good morning to you too, Donnie. 63 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,764 Donnie. 64 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,999 [Audience laughter] 65 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,036 Tone, you gotta stop with all this black on black 66 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,738 violence, man. 67 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:54,208 Donnie, if you gonna come into my house uninvited and steal my food, at least say hi. 68 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:57,911 I'm sorry, man. It's just this show that I've been binge watchin' is 69 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,282 insane. It's got me hooked like a white woman on yoga. 70 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,149 [Audience laughter] 71 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,617 What new show? 72 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,886 Oh it's called Declassified America. 73 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,289 Oh gosh, Donnie. Don't tell me you're into one of those 74 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,123 crazy conspiracy shows. 75 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,626 Some call it a conspiracy. I call it the truth. 76 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,463 Did you know that that government can tell your exact 77 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,466 location based off your IP address? 78 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,001 Donnie, do you even know what a IP address is? 79 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,004 Stick to the point, Tone. Alright. 80 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,841 The point is, they're watchin' us all right now, and just at the right time, 81 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,477 they gonna strike. 82 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,845 Strike and do what, exactly? 83 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,081 [Audience laughter] 84 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,149 I'm still a few seasons behind, 85 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:38,619 a so I haven't really figured that out, yet. 86 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:42,256 Have you figured out why your brain still keeps givin' you the silent treatment? 87 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,758 [Audience laughter] 88 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:47,761 Keep on jokin', Tone, but when the man shows up to your house with a 89 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,530 batterin' ram tryin' to do a cavity search, 90 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:53,066 don't come cryin' to me. You just can't stop it baby. 91 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:58,105 You know one day they'll come up with an official name for that undiagnosed condition a his. 92 00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,006 [Doorbell rings] 93 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,341 You think? 94 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:01,542 [Laughing] 95 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,614 [Humming] 96 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,148 Greetings, goddess. 97 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,983 [Audience laughter] 98 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,323 Why you comin' up in here dressed like Woodstock threw up on you? 99 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:20,227 Hohm. 100 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:22,863 Aah. 101 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,031 Alright, I'm a let that ride. 102 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,866 - [Clears throat] - Okay. 103 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:29,202 Alright little sister. Now you know I 104 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,372 hardly ever ask you for anything, right? 105 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,006 What kinda trouble you in, Lori? 106 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,376 Oh don't tell me your boss asked you to come over after work again 107 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,744 so y'all have coffee? 108 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,680 [Laughter] No no no no. Trust me, that will never happen again. 109 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,583 That man takes a few sips of caffeine and he's as 110 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,685 chatty as a divorced Goober driver. 111 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,154 Okay. So, what? What's up? 112 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:50,724 Okay, my condo has a slight 113 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:54,562 insect infestation, and my exterminator said it's gonna take a week to fix it 114 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:57,565 so I was wondering if I could ask you just a widdle 115 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,767 simple little favor? 116 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,768 Hell, no. 117 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,570 Now who let this alligator out the swamp? 118 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,072 Speakin' of simple but never little, 119 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:08,241 Okay, Tony she hasn't even told me what she needs yet. 120 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,210 She doesn't have to. Isn't it obvious. 121 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:13,246 Erica Ba-don't needs a place to stay because a termites have 122 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,882 colonized her condo. 123 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,551 For your information, Lionel Fickey, 124 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,219 [Audience laughter] 125 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,889 my termite problem ain't that bad! 126 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,857 Yeah, it can't be worse than that outfit. 127 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:24,925 [Audience laughter] 128 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:28,362 Lisa, I'm gonna give you my exterminator's card, 129 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,564 because it's obvious to me, you got a big ole 130 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,099 possum in your house. 131 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,601 Okay yuck mouth, back it up. 132 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,568 - [Tony] Yes, please. - [Lori] Maybe skunk. - [Lisa] Oh, oh, oh okay. 133 00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:35,969 - Maybe skunk. - Okay, alright. 134 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,104 - [Lori] I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin', - [Lisa] Okay, Lori. 135 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,138 - that's you not me, baby. - Lori, Lori, stop it. 136 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,442 Now, how is that a that new diet comin' along? 137 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,811 Oh honey, I feel 138 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,480 absolutely reinvigorated. 139 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:49,983 Good. Then you'll have enough energy to dig a hole under the house, you groundhog. 140 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,120 Okay, Ebony is actually on her senior trip so we 141 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,788 do we really do have a lot of space. 142 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,324 - [Lori squeals] Oh my sister, my sissy-- - [Omar] No! 143 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:01,795 - Ooh, slumber party. - Yes. Tony, can you get my sisters's bags upstairs? 144 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,230 - What? - Yeah. 145 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,299 I am on the verge of the biggest contract of my career and I'm treated 146 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,935 like a bellhop in my own house. 147 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,302 What's got him so upset? 148 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,405 [Knocking] Oh oh, honey. 149 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:14,141 [Sighs] I almost forgot to tell you, 150 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:17,478 there's someone I'd like you to meet. 151 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,246 Lori... 152 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:23,584 my little vitamin D-laced moon and sunshine. 153 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,753 - [Laughter] - Oah. 154 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,320 [Music sting] 155 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,857 [Instrumental Music] 156 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,594 Guys, I'd like to introduce you to my sexy new 157 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,996 groovy man, 158 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,465 Herb. 159 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,366 Looks like he smokes a lot of herb. 160 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,802 Ah I'm a Lisa, I'm Lori's sister. 161 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,537 This is my husband, Tony. 162 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,305 Come on in. Come on in. 163 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,475 Smells like he was already in. 164 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,342 Smell that must BO from a mile away, 165 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,844 and is he wearin' open toe sandals? 166 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,312 - Stop it. - It's winter! 167 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,881 [Laughter] 168 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,650 Can I offer you some water? Some juice? 169 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,786 Some deodorant? [Clears throat] 170 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,489 Tony, don't make me hurt you in front of my righteous new man. 171 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,491 No baby it's it's quite alright. 172 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,358 You see Tony here is just ignorant... 173 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,360 I say the same thing. 174 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:10,163 ...of the fact that we could be so much healthier 175 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,166 if we just used natural flowers to compliment 176 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:17,204 pungent odors that mother nature has graced our bodies with. 177 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,307 Ooh baby you so amazin'. It's just like you came 178 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,975 right outa my dreams! 179 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:25,078 Eh, I wish I could get you right outa my nostrils. 180 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,848 Ah so what is it that you do, Herb? 181 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,917 Girl, he sells all-natural soaps. 182 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,852 He needs to get high on his own supply. 183 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:35,489 Tony! Herb, where where do you live? 184 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,057 I live everywhere. 185 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,260 By everywhere he actually means he lives in this sexy bachelor van with a water 186 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,362 bed and shag carpet, girl. 187 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,032 You know it it's been a pleasure to meet you. 188 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,266 Dale, the funky Homo sapien, 189 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:50,738 but a like most normal people, I have to go to work. 190 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,874 It's unfortunate, Tony. Still bound by the chains 191 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,343 of mainstream society. 192 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:59,346 You know it's unfortunate that you sleep in a mystery van, Scooby Doo Doo. 193 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,280 Oh. 194 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,615 [Audience laughter] 195 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,217 [Phone vibrates] 196 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,187 Hello. What's up, Donnie? 197 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,524 What? No, I have never met an alien. 198 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,760 Uh. On second thought, maybe I have. 199 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,294 Uh listen. No, I 200 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,064 alright if it'll shut you up, I will listen to the show on the way to work. 201 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,066 The conspiracy theory what? 202 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,770 [Instrumental Music] 203 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,471 [Clears throat] 204 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,074 Good mornin' Mr. Stallworth. 205 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,409 - Hey. - I have called you a thousand times. 206 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,211 Is your phone on silent or somethin'? 207 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,312 Yep. 208 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,582 Well did you call the city councilman back? 209 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,616 Yep. 210 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,951 Did you send the numbers over for the proposal? 211 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:38,952 Yep. 212 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:40,721 Can I have a raise? 213 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:41,922 Hell, no. 214 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,456 [Audience laughter] 215 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,325 Closed mouths don't get fed. 216 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,595 You been here 2 days talkin' about a raise. 217 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,931 Anyway, what got you so distracted today? 218 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,666 I'm not distracted. I'm just watchin' this new show, 219 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,234 Declassified America. 220 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,436 Oh, that conspiracy show. 221 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:59,439 - Uh uh. - Now see, I didn't believe it at first either. 222 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,275 But think about it. Some of that stuff makes sense. 223 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:06,179 Ya eva wonder how Cherry can hear you when you call her name? 224 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,781 She's listenin' to that. 225 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,584 Makes sense that she's listening to everything else too. 226 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:13,453 You might be onto somethin', Mr. Stallworth. 227 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:16,857 One time I was talkin' to my homegirl about my Redbottoms that I 228 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,660 always wanted, and then 30 seconds later, 229 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,594 boom! 230 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:21,194 [Audience laughter] boom! 231 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:21,795 [Audience laughter] 232 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,363 I seen 'em on Facespace. 233 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,667 Now that's the stuff I'm talkin' about. They trackin' you. 234 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,969 - I see. I see now. - Mm hm. You see? 235 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,470 - [Melinda] Yeah. - [Tony] Mm hm. 236 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,606 And you know what else? I just thought about somethin'. 237 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,473 Hm? 238 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,175 They probably got you on they radar. 239 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,644 Mm hm. 240 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,680 Probably been spyin' on me through this little selfie camera all day. 241 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,481 - [Tony] Oh no. Oh hoa hoa hoa no. - [Melinda] We got you! 242 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,483 - Alright. Uh mm. - Not today, government. Tell 'em. 243 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,852 - Uh mm. Not Mr. Stallworth. - Mm hm. 244 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,353 Knock knock, not us. 245 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:47,955 Not Tony. You what I'm talkin' about? 246 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,657 - No, let's see here. Check this one out. - Mm hm. 247 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,024 There. Yeah, yeah. Spy on that. 248 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,995 But wait, doesn't the councilman you sendin' the proposal to, work 249 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,229 for the government? 250 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,497 He does. 251 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,799 Mmm. 252 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,401 [Drawer rattles shut] I told you. Wait wait. Where you goin'? 253 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,637 I gotta hurry up, finish watchin' this show before it's too late. 254 00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,005 Okay, you go ahead and lock up without me. 255 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,007 - Alright I I'll see ya tomorrow. - I got his, okay. Hey, hey. 256 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,309 Watch! Remember, watch! 257 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,512 [Instrumental Music] 258 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,248 Mmm. It's all these natural odorless 259 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,350 ingredients, babe. 260 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,520 You never have to worry about bein' tainted by 261 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,023 chemicals or imbalanced by 262 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,892 toxic uh mm's. 263 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:30,563 Oah. Ooh you know I just love a man that knows how to 264 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,565 work with his hands. 265 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:35,402 - [Herb chuckling] - Ooh. Um, am I interrupting something? 266 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,037 Of course not. 267 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,240 Herb is just teachin' me about the keys to his business. 268 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,875 Oh, okay Miss Trap Queen. 269 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:44,544 Ah I don't know what kind of keys you makin' up in here, 270 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,715 but you and Heisenberg gonna have to find somewhere else to cook, okay. 271 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:51,451 You got it all wrong, Lisa. I was just showin' Lori the formula to my new 272 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,419 Herb Bars. 273 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,387 Here, have one. 274 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:59,092 It'll cleanse and revitalize the crevices of your body that you forgot 275 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,060 you even had. 276 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,962 Mm, I think I'm gonna pass, okay. 277 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,531 Me and my crevices are just chillin'. We're good. 278 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:05,733 Okay, thank you. 279 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,068 Lisa, get with the times. 280 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:11,071 I'm even tryin' this new dental hygiene system too. 281 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,306 The constant use of fluoride in toothpaste 282 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,076 has led to the deterioration of the body's bones. 283 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,879 - Mmm. - Don't you want healthy bones, Lisa? 284 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,881 Do you want a broken bone, Herb? 285 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,784 Oh Lisa, try this with me. 286 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:26,653 [Laughter] I told you, I am too grown for toys. 287 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,255 No. It's for your mouth, silly. 288 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,157 I don't care where you put it. 289 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,424 It's a miswak stick. 290 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,826 A miss what? 291 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:36,830 Lisa, it cleans and freshens your teeth with no harmful chemicals. 292 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:40,600 Don't you wanna have teeth to smile at your grandkids one day? 293 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,102 Then join us 294 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,005 by using the miswak stick. 295 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,107 Stick the stick in your mouth, Lisa. Stick the stick in your mouth. 296 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,575 I'm not puttin' that in my mouth. 297 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,877 Come on. Stick it 298 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:50,543 - ...in now. Stick it. - If you don't get away from me, I'm a... 299 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,444 ...stick you with this jab. 300 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,246 [Instrumental Music] 301 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,414 That'll do, Tone. 302 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,516 - You're more than straight now. - Okay. 303 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,418 Are you sure this system will work? 304 00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,820 100% sure, man. 305 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,789 You information is good and protected. 306 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:05,458 Great. Cause I can't afford to deal with any tricks that they have up their sleeve. 307 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,361 And I ain't goin' down for somethin' I ain't do. I ain't gonna me nobody's scapegoat. 308 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,931 Well, this aluminum foil is the perfect barrier to block out 309 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,166 all intercepted signals from the government. 310 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,702 This place is more secure than a white man's job. 311 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,703 [Audience laughter] 312 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,806 Uh, and on top of that, 313 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,974 I brought a little reinforcement. 314 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,509 What is that? 315 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,144 A signal detector. 316 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:27,180 Okay. It looks like my toaster with a antenna stickin' out. 317 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,650 I may or may not have used it for breakfast this mornin'. 318 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:31,819 Donnie give me back my damn toaster. 319 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,653 Hey hey, don't touch it, man. 320 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,824 This little baby monitors all the wireless signals 321 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,858 passin' through the air. 322 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,894 As long as it's quiet, the airwaves are clean. 323 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,731 [Beeping sound] 324 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,966 Why is it beepin' so fast? 325 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,501 Ah it must have detected a signal. 326 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,905 Are you sure you used all double-sided foil on all the windows? 327 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,306 Yeah. [Beeping intensifies] 328 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,843 Oh no! Eh this isn't supposed to happen. 329 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,912 A the show said this only happens like once every hundred years. 330 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,247 What's happenin'? 331 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,515 The government couldn't get through your strong signal blocker 332 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:06,920 so they called upon extra-terrestrial higher power to help them get through. 333 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,355 Chu mean aliens? 334 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,522 [Audience laughter] 335 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,725 - Oah, it's about to go down, Tone. - What? 336 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,361 Here, man. Put this stuff on. 337 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,164 It'll stop the aliens from patrolin' your brain. 338 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,133 [Audience laughter] 339 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,103 [Beeping continues] 340 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:26,206 Alright aliens, show yourselves. 341 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,408 [Audience laughter] 342 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,512 Are they here? 343 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,680 [Phone vibrates] 344 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:37,184 I thought I said all devices on airplane mode. 345 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,986 It is on airplane mode. 346 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,055 Who is it, the aliens? Did they text? 347 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:46,226 No, it's my calendar remindin' me to pay my electric bill last week. 348 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,561 Well obviously, that didn't work. 349 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,563 [Music stings] 350 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:55,869 [Instrumental Music] 351 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,737 Hey, Mr. Stallworth. 352 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,907 [Foil clatters] 353 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,375 What is up with all this foil? 354 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,378 Are we havin' a cookout or somethin' cause I like to eat. 355 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,581 No, these are my signal barriers to keep the government 356 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,417 from stealin' my information. 357 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,752 Don't you think you takin' this whole TV show 358 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,888 a little too far? 359 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,156 Why would you say that? 360 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,090 Who got to you? 361 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,092 Oh okay, back back up. Back up, 362 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:22,229 cause you have obviously gone off the deep end. I mean 363 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:23,263 honestly. 364 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,233 What is this? 365 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:29,402 Don't even worry about that. That is just in case 366 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:33,140 of a very rare impromptu alien attack. 367 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,808 - Mr. Stallworth. - Hmm. 368 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,177 Look at you. 369 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,981 Look at you in your face. Eh I can tell you have not been sleepin'. 370 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,952 How many hours of this TV show have you been watchin' for the last 2 days? 371 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,920 32 hours. 372 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,321 [Audience laughter] 373 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,291 Mr. Stallworth, I highly doubt that the government is watchin' you. 374 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,626 And if they are, so what? 375 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:54,694 Who cares? 376 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,997 You have nothin' to hide anyway. 377 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,169 [Audience laughter] 378 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,637 - Mr. Stallworth. - Hmm. 379 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,540 Did you sent that proposal over to the councilman? 380 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,675 Of course I did. 381 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,843 Well that's mighty funny because they just sent me a text 382 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,946 say they haven't received anything. 383 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,481 When did you send the email? 384 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,883 First of all I didn't send an email because that is the easiest way 385 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,285 for the government to track you. 386 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:21,321 Okay if you didn't send a email, what did you send? 387 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,991 - I used the safest communication known to man. What is that? 388 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:27,660 - Carrier pigeon. - You you used a damn carrier pigeon! 389 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,397 Now they gonna use another company. 390 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:35,168 Do you not know how much money I done missed out on this? 391 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,806 I mean, do you know how much money you have missed out on this? 392 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,809 I just can't believe that I bought them carrier pigeons from Mike Tyson. 393 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,312 Never trust a man with a face tat and a lisp. 394 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,713 [Foil clatters] 395 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,249 Looks like a carrier pigeon came on back. 396 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,819 Oh no, forgot to leave the window open. I'm sorry little Charlie. 397 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,887 [Instrumental Music] 398 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,923 Ah, you like that, don't ya? 399 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,692 Thank you for all these really great smellin' goodies. 400 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,362 Mm, of course. No problem, little sis. 401 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,531 Thanks for opening your home to me. 402 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,068 I won't be needing all those fancy smelling perfumes anymore. 403 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,836 I'm stayin' committed to the cause. 404 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,404 If you say so. 405 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,306 [Knocking] 406 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,244 [Door opens] 407 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,080 - Hello, Lisa. - Hey. 408 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,514 Hi, Lori. 409 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,815 Hi. 410 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,953 Lori, can I speak with you about somethin'? 411 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,456 Oh, that's a sentence you never wanna hear. 412 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,292 Um, sure. Come on in. 413 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,261 Is there a problem? 414 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,032 Would you like to inform me 415 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,101 as to why I found this 416 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,335 Uah! 417 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,772 on my shag carpet at home? 418 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,341 My Shantel Number Nine. 419 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,344 Ah I mean I'm a sorry I ah-- 420 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,714 I'm sorry, Herb. Ah I I just 421 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,617 It's my boss's fault. He told me if I came 422 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,220 to work smellin' like a batch of funky chitlin's 423 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,690 one more time, I'd be fired. 424 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,594 You don't need to explain, Lori. 425 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,430 You're just not 426 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:14,767 hygienically mature enough to be my partner in the wind. 427 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,603 [Sobbing] 428 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:17,837 [Audience laughter] 429 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,073 Maybe one day our 430 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:23,009 souls will cross paths again. 431 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,544 Oh, Herb. 432 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,780 Are you breaking wind with me? 433 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:29,582 Is this goodbye? 434 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,118 Not a goodbye. 435 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,320 But a... 436 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,490 until we meet again. 437 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,493 [Audience laughter] 438 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,795 [Deep inhale and exhale] 439 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,098 Dang. 440 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,533 [Audience laughter] 441 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,602 Aw...I'm sorry he 442 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:52,105 broke up with you, Lori. 443 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:55,875 I mean come on. But to be honest, you didn't need his old musty tree-huggin' ass anyway. 444 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,878 Yeah, I guess you're right. 445 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,381 And I am pretty excited to be usin' my fancy 446 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,116 smellin' body lotions again. 447 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,285 Oh but, I thought those were mine. 448 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:09,055 Oh and for what it's worth, I did leave his sheets 449 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,390 totally soaked last night. 450 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,225 Okay, sis. 451 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,994 What? I poked a hole in his waterbed. 452 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,464 [Instrumental Music] 453 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,731 Hey, what's all this? 454 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,000 I made us dinner to celebrate havin' the house to ourselves 455 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,170 for the last night before Ebony comes back. 456 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,638 [Chuckles] Okay so the a 457 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,007 roach master must be goin' back to her infested condo, huh? 458 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,143 Her place is all clean now, 459 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:33,012 and if you want this dinner and dessert, you gonna curb those insults 460 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,481 on my sister. 461 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,549 She got dumped tonight. 462 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,884 Again! 463 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,420 That girl got more exes than a bowlin' alley score card. 464 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,721 [Laughter] 465 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,223 One more ex, she gonna strike out. 466 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,225 That's not nice, Tony. 467 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,494 But she's actually handlin' it really well. 468 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:50,062 I don't know. I think you two were just goin' through a phase, you know. 469 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,031 Her with nature boy. 470 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,567 You with the aluminum foil on windows, 471 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,669 havin' my house lookin' like a ghetto to go plate. 472 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,539 [Laughter] 473 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,374 You right, Lisa. I'm sorry. 474 00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,010 Yeah that show just...had me goin' crazy. 475 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:07,380 And you know I shoulda just been focusin' on my family and my business. 476 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,016 Tony, where have you been, man? 477 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,619 I sent like 3 carrier pigeons lookin' for you. 478 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,421 [Audience laughter] 479 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:17,424 Damn, you got to start leavin' your windows open, man. 480 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,091 Donnie, what the hell do you want? 481 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:22,094 Oh, I came over here to say that we should move to Jamaica 482 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,363 and live off the grid. 483 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,732 I ain't movin' nowhere. I'm done with all those conspiracies. 484 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,735 If the government wants to spy on me, let 'em. I ain't got nothin' to hide. 485 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,370 What did you do to him? 486 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,940 Man, I just realized I was trippin' when I almost missed out on a huge deal. 487 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,276 Luckily, I got them to reconsider my proposal. 488 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,445 You choosin' money over your freedom? 489 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,080 [Sighs] Come on, brother. Who got to you, man? 490 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,315 Where's your dignity? 491 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,217 I could never sell out for any amount of money. 492 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,052 Donnie has no price tag. 493 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,920 I'll give you $20 just to shut the hell up. 494 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:52,191 Tssh, $20 to shut me up, man. If you make it 50, I'll leave. 495 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,062 Deal. Mmm, here you go. Here. 496 00:19:56,095 --> 00:20:00,300 Go through your lady. I don't want to touch hands that have just disrespected me. 497 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:01,934 [Lisa chuckles] Wow. 498 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,671 Appreciate you, baby girl. 499 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,206 [Audience laughter] 500 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,343 You know, while I'm at it, I might as well just take my signal blocker. 501 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,912 Uh mm mm. Don't you take my toaster outa here, Donnie. 502 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:13,880 No, it's the signal blocker. 503 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,515 Ain't no signal blocker. That's my toaster. 504 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,016 - [Donnie] Look I'm just tryin' to free ya, brotha - [Tony] Boy that, really? Okay. 505 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,418 Alright. No, that's alright. 506 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,386 [Music stings] 507 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,289 [Instrumental Music] 508 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:25,525 [Donnie blows air] You 4 carrier pigeons were amazing 509 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,494 carrier pigeons and um 510 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,196 you were gone too soon. Um, 511 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,998 [Audience laughter] 512 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,434 You wanna say anything, Tone? 513 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,635 Not really. 514 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,969 [Audience laughter] 515 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,204 Fine. 516 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,040 Charlie, I'm sorry that I didn't leave the window open for you. 517 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,009 but I have to admit, you were the worst $24.99 518 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,711 I've ever spent. 519 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,979 Alright um, you wanna start diggin'? 520 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:48,648 Man, we ain't diggin' no holes in my backyard. 521 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,550 I'm callin' Mike Tyson and gettin' our money back. 522 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,019 [Instrumental Music]